Caroline Wozniacki sings. Or to be more accurate, Caroline Wozniacki knows people who have an auto-tune machine.
The former No. 1 released a song called “Oxygen” to benefit the Danish and Polish paralympic teams. Now, since this single was released for charity, it would be pretty unfair to rip her effort. But I think it’s fair to critique the production efforts. Memo to the music industry: When the members of “Spinal Tap” said, “But it goes to eleven,” they were referring to the volume on an amplifier, NOT the gauge on the auto-tune software. Wozniacki’s voice is completely unrecognizable. Even Rihanna is thinking, “Wow, that’s a lot of auto-tune.”
The five best lyrics from Woz’s auto-tuned masterpiece, presented to you without comment.
1. “Come over here so I can touch your body. Don’t make me wait. Don’t hesitate.”
2. “O-X-Y-G-E-N, Oxygen.”
3. “You’re like the gravity that’s holding’ me, it’s pulling babe.”
4. “Yo, what’s your name, Girl?” “My name is Caroline.”
5. “Girl, you’re my match point.” “Boy, you’re my match point.”