Tennis hit network TV on Wednesday night. Chris Evert, Lindsay Davenport and Justin Gimelstob guest-starred on a tennis-themed episode of CBS’ CSI. The plot: The murder of an up-and-coming tennis player found dead after beating her older doubles partner to make the finals of a Premier tournament. Yes, they actually said “Premier tournament.” How’s that for accuracy?
The episode, titled “Double Fault,” is currently streaming at CBS.com and features Evert and Davenport doing commentary, Gimelstob splattered in blood and a whole host of horrible tennis-related scenarios.
Hmm … she sounds familiar: Another tennis player dealing with questions about her longevity as she’s pushing 30 in a strained marriage with her loving husband who also serves as her coach. Oh, and she had to get him another hotel room because he snored. Does that sound like a certain Australian Open finalist to you? Li Na should get royalties.
Only in Hollywood: On match point, our fallen heroine, Claudia, nets a first serve and then hits a 120-mph second serve ace out wide. Girl, you crazy!
Killer forehand: Hey, they said it, not me. But, yes, a tennis racket is the murder weapon, obviously. Though it should be noted that they were able to get DNA evidence from the grip tape. Savvy.
You cannot be serious!: Obligatory McEnroeian argument with the umpire followed up with a Zvonarevian racket-breaking temper tantrum. Yup, that’s tennis all right.
Sweep the leg!: First of all, I was unaware that the Oscar-nominated Elizabeth Shue (for Leaving Las Vegas, not for Cocktail, sadly) was even on this show. The avid tennis player shows off some sound volleying technique as she interrogates Evert on the court.
And, finally, here are the four worst tennis puns uttered in the episode. Brutal.
• “Who says tennis isn’t a blood sport?”
• “She may have won the match, but she took a beating on the court.”
• “So instead of serving aces, all you’ll be serving … is time.”
• “Game, set, murder.”