Maria Sharapova has been busy off the court at the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix in Stuttgart, Germany, this week, no doubt in large part because of her new, three-year deal with the tournament’s title sponsor. She held a question-and-answer session with fans on the event’s Facebook page on Tuesday and succeeded in being both direct and completely failing to actually provide answers. It was a deft display of digital agility.
Here are my five favorite exchanges:
Philip Uchiha A. Ruiz: My question would be is, if Rafael Nadal asked you on a date would you accept it or not? thanks!
Maria Sharapova: not my type
Direct and to the point. Good job, Maria. Unfortunately, it’s all downhill from here.
David Lankester: Hi. Have you ever been sailing before?
Maria Sharapova: yes funny enough with richard branson
A nice reminder that Sharapova’s life is nothing like my life. Also, curious use of “funny enough” to soften the blow of name-dropping Virgin Group founder Richard Branson. I would have gone with, “Yes, funny enough I got horribly seasick and was almost eaten by a shark.”
Domi Nique: Hi Maria, how do you use your Porsche which you win last year here in Stuttgart? Can you enjoy it or is it just a car like the others? Can you tell us about your expierence [sic]? I will hopefully watch you live on Saturday. Tickets just arrived, so please win the next games
Maria Sharapova: i enjoy it by driving it all the time
Bruno Moreira: are you dating Grigor Dimitrov?
Maria Sharapova: funny you ask
Wait … that’s not an actual answer. Also, I’m beginning to think she doesn’t actually know how to use the word “funny” in a sentence.
Hannah Slough: What is your favourite country (besides russia and america!)?
Maria Sharapova: absolutely
I give up.