By C.W. Sesno, SI.com

Yes, Serena Williams has a rap song. And quite frankly, it’s not bad. If we’re grading on a scale relative to other songs recently released by tennis players, Serena will be triple platinum by the end of the day. No synthesizer, decent beat and creative lyrics (tennis in a rap song!). It almost doesn’t sound like her, but the proof is in the lyrics:

“They be like, ‘Serena, is you really rappin’?’ That’s me, thanks for listnin’ — Schoolin’ these rappers they should pay tuition.” Need more proof? “Swag out this world you should call me Venus. That’s my sister, my name is Serena, on the court I serve ‘em up, no subpoena.”

She’s got something of a Lil’ Kim sound going on, obviously scaled back on the profanities and vulgarities. It’s unclear who she’s working with and when her debut album will drop, but it seems like Ravens offensive tackle Bryant McKinnie may have had a hand in leaking the track.

Dear @BryantMckinnie I hate you. Lol—
Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) May 11, 2012

Just getting out of workouts & have all these @serenawilliams mentions. What's poppin?—
Bryant Mckinnie (@BryantMckinnie) May 11, 2012

I think Serena has potential for a post-tennis music career. Sound off in the comments with your take on her jam.

Serena Williams appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight last week and even picked up a wooden racket  – or more accurately, a wooden racket was shoved into her hand — for a light hit with the CNN host at the Vanderbilt Tennis and Fitness Club in New York.

The most interesting portion of the interview came when Williams opened up about her ever-mysterious love life, which, if you follow her on Twitter, is always on her mind.

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Chris Evert (center) hosted ‘Saturday Night Live’ in 1989 shortly after retiring from tennis. (Courtesy of NBC)

Giants quarterback Eli Manning will attempt to outdo his big brother this weekend when he hosts Saturday Night Live. I’m going to go out on a limb and say there’s no way that Eli tops Peyton’s surprisingly great turn in 2007. Who can forget Peyton’s United Way spoof? Perfection.

[Photo Gallery: Athletes who have appeared on SNL]

It’s a shame that tennis players have hosted the sketch-comedy show so infrequently over the years. Chris Evert got the gig after she retired in 1989 (check out this amusing skit about being haunted by Martina Navratilova), and Andy Roddick did the honors after winning the U.S. Open in 2003.

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There’s no reason tennis players wouldn’t be awesome on SNL. “If you think about it, Saturday Night Live and tennis are not all that different,” Evert quipped in her monologue. “Both require talent and concentration, both are done in front of a live audience, and both peaked in popularity in the late ’70s.” Zing!

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Maria Sharapova finally got out from underneath Victoria Azarenka’s thumb on Sunday, winning her first title of 2012 with an emphatic 6-1, 6-4 victory over the world No. 1 in the Stuttgart final. Sharapova defeated three of the reigning Grand Slam champions in the tournament, as victories against Sam Stosur in the quarterfinals and Petra Kvitova in the semifinals set up her first complete-match win over Azarenka since Beijing in 2009. Azarenka had routed Sharapova in their two previous meetings this year, dropping only eight games.

Commentating for Tennis Channel, Lindsay Davenport said Sharapova’s performance in the final was the best she’s seen from her since her shoulder surgery in 2008. I’m inclined to agree. Sharapova’s line for the match: 31 winners, 13 unforced errors, eight aces. Her serve was a weapon all week and it seems that Sharapova, who won Rome on clay last year, is finally learning how the clay can help her. Self-described as “a cow on ice” when her feet hit the clay, Sharapova is now taking advantage of the extra time the clay allows her to set up her shots, and her movement has improved noticeably. She’s actually sliding into her backhand comfortably, something she’s rarely been keen to do.

But enough of forehands and backhands and what have you. This is the WTA. There has to be some drama, whether real or perceived, right? Right.

After Sharapova snagged the first set Sunday, the two walked to their chairs for the set break and bumped shoulders. No need to get the bootleg Zapruder film for this one. Eurosport caught and slowed it down for us.

After a handshake that Tennis Channel commentator Leif Shiras described as not “exactly bathed in the milk of human kindness,” Sharapova seemed to throw one more shovel-full of shade Azarenka’s way. ”It was so unfortunate that Vika was extremely injured today and just couldn’t really perform her game,” Sharapova said during her winner’s speech, possibly referring to Azarenka’s injury timeout to attend to a wrist injury. A cynical person might have read a bit of sarcasm in Sharapova’s tone.

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Andrea Petkovic retired trailing No. 1 Victoria Azarenka 2-6, 4-4 on Thursday after injuring her right ankle during the second round of the Porsche Grand Prix in Stuttgart, Germany. She was helped off the court by Azarenka, who was visibly shaken up by the incident during her postmatch interview. Petkovic, who said she’ll get an MRI and scans on Friday, was reportedly seen leaving the site in a wheelchair.

That’s some horrible luck for Petkovic, who’s been snakebit by injury throughout her career. A torn ACL ruled her out of most of 2008, and she needed surgery to repair her right knee last year after suffering a meniscus tear in Cincinnati. Now, in just her third match back from a three-and-a-half-month layoff to heal a stress fracture in her back, she goes down with what looks like a bad ankle sprain.

Here’s video of the injury as it happened, which is not for the faint of heart. And kudos to Azarenka for her sportsmanship throughout the incident, running off to get Petkovic some ice and then helping her off the court. Nice to see.

(Note: The video shows a painful-looking injury in slow motion. Watch at your own discretion.)

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Caroline Wozniacki’s music video for her charity single “Oxygen” has hit the internet. I already know the song by heart, having listened to it on loop in order to capture the best lyrical nuggets when the song was leaked a few weeks ago. Now that it’s accompanied by visuals and a storyline (I think?) let’s break this down.

1. I must admit, I am thoroughly confused. Is this a girl meets boy kind of thing? Because I’m actually way more convinced by the love story between the german shepherd and his tennis ball. That tennis ball is his oxygen, of that I am sure.

2. You can’t fool me, music video director. Just because you put a drummer (who looks 12 years old, by the way) and a bassist in the video doesn’t make me believe for one second that this song wasn’t composed entirely on Garage Band.

3. This four-minute video has to be the longest stretch of time wherein Caroline Wozniacki has not smiled in her life.

4. “Oh no! Paparazzi are taking pictures of me working with kids! This is the worst thing ever! We have to run!” Yup, makes sense.

5. At the 2:15 mark, Caroline answers one of my burning questions rather definitively: Can you actually say, “Boy you’re my match point” with a straight face? As Caroline shows, the answer is yes.

6. Glaring hole in the plot: Caroline — or sorry, the character Caroline plays — is all smitten by Leather Jacket, makes the first move with the ever seductive “finger caress on the tram” move (patent pending, surely), goes to dinner with the guy (what restaurant lets you bring in your dog? Hello! Health code violation!), and then gets a mysterious phone call that makes her bolt with no explanation. What was said during that call? Did Piotr call and tell she’s out past her curfew and she’s going to be in major trouble? Did the private investigator she surely has on speed dial discover something seedy in Leather Jacket’s past? Did her doctor call to deliver the test results indicating that she is, in fact, deathly allergic to dogs? These are questions that remain unanswered.

7. Which means there’ll be a sequel, obviously.

8. Upon further reflection, maybe the true love story is between Caroline and the dog. Check out that heart-wrenching look they share at 2:30-2:35. If that’s not a meaningful look, I don’t know what is.

9. While I appreciate the sentimentality of gifts, if there’s one thing I’m pretty sure Caroline has a ton of, it’s tennis balls. Weak move, buddy.

10. I have to say, the Inception-like ending was perfect. As the cast and crew reunite in slow motion to applaud their work it suddenly dawns on you: NONE OF THIS WAS REAL.

Three players have gone down with horrible ankle injuries in Monte Carlo this week, and Rafael Nadal suspects there might be something wrong with the court surface. Juan Monaco, Julien Benneteau and Sebastien Couberes (in qualies) all retired from their matches this week due to ankle sprains, and in Benneteau’s case, the fall also resulted in a fractured elbow, ruling him out of Roland Garros.

Below is Benneteau’s fall Thursday against Andy Murray. (Warning: The below videos show painful injuries. Watch at your own discretion.)

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Novak Djokovic had to take the court on Thursday only hours after learning his grandfather, Vladimir, had passed away in Belgrade. The world No. 1 took to the practice courts to warm up for his match in good spirits, but learned of his grandfather’s passing via cell phone. French television captured him leaving the court crying with his team trying to console him.

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I think everyone would have understood if Novak chose to withdraw from the tournament and return home to be with his family, but he soldiered on, and with his emotions still raw for everyone to see, he beat Alexandr Dolgopolov  2-6, 6-1, 6-4 to book a spot in the  quarterfinals of Monte Carlo. He celebrated the win by looking skyward and then broke down in tears as he packed up his bag to leave the court.

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Djokovic understandably skipped his post-match press conference, and the ATP released the following statement:

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With last week’s announcement that Jennifer Capriati will be inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame, it’s time to give J-Cap a worthy tribute, Beyond The Baseline style. Capriati, a three-time Grand Slam winner and former No. 1, made a splash in 1990, when she debuted on the WTA Tour as a 13-year-old phenom. She made the finals in two of her first three professional events, and in her Grand Slam debut at Roland Garros, the bubbly-to-the-point-of-blissfully-oblivious Capriati made it all the way to the semifinals before losing to Monica Seles. It took her eleven years (including an absence from the game in 1995) to finally win her first major title at the Australian Open in 2001, but by the time she left the game in 2004 she had left an indelible mark on women’s tennis.

Here’s a look at Capriati’s biggest matches. Some were wins, some were losses, but almost every single one of them was a reflection of what would become her lasting hallmark: She was a fighter.

Bruce Jenkins: Highs and lows, Capriati worthy of Hall | Notable stats

Martina Navratilova def. Capriati, 6-2, 6-4, 1990 Family Circle Cup final.

In her second WTA tour final, Capriati lost to Navratilova, but the precocious teen won hearts with her post-match enthusiasm. She thanked her friends and family, called Martina a “lege”, and even grabbed the mic back from Bud Collins. Said Martina at the time, “I think I played a legend in the making. I think Jennifer’s got the future in her hands. It’ll be fun watching her grow and be a champion because I’m sure she will be.”

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Some couples, like Caroline Wozniacki and Rory McIlroy, may find playing tennis together fun, but not so much for Andy Roddick and his wife, Brooklyn Decker. In an interview with Women’s Health magazine, B-Decks recounts the one time Andy tried to give her lessons:

“I ended up hitting all the tennis balls over the fence and smashing my racket because I was so frustrated. I told him, ‘You don’t teach me how to play tennis, and I won’t teach you how to model in a bathing suit.’ And so far, it’s worked.”

Oh, Brooklyn. You’ve been watching Andy play tennis for far too long.

But seriously, as this video shows, there’s no way Roddick is better at modeling than Decker is at tennis.